Wednesday Again

 

Wednesday again

 

     Dad’s old green car, the Green Meanie, the one that he let Joe use is a terrible mess. It stinks of smoke and is full of old dirty coffee cups and used lottery tickets. What made me really sad was thinking that Mama had to ride in it to get wherever she was going. She must have really wanted to get there, wherever it was. I looked all over the inside of the car as much as I could, to see if there were any clues, like Nancy Drew would do. It mostly was such a mess that I wanted to give up pretty quickly. But I remember how Mama said that if I needed to find something in my room, the best way to do it was to clean it up. She said that was how she found her own lost things, cleaning up. So I got a big garbage bag and a pair of her old gardening gloves and I started to take everything out of the car. I took out every piece of paper, every scrap of anything, looked at it and put it in the bag. I started in the front seat ‘cause that's where I figured Mama would have sat and worked my way through all the way to the back. Whoever said that smoking is disgusting is right. That’s all I have to say about that. I didn't find any clues but I did find something that belonged to Mama! It was one of her wrist rosaries, the little one with eleven pink beads that was so tiny it must have belonged to a child. She must have dropped it before she got out of the car because it was in the back, sort of hidden by a floor mat. I am glad to have something that was hers. There is a whole house full of stuff that is hers but she touched this recently I'm sure. Except why did she take it with her? Or why didn't she take it with her?

     Mama is not Catholic but she likes anything with images of Jesus’ mother Mary on it. She has a couple of pictures, a couple of things that she calls icons, and also a couple of rosaries. She taught me the Lord’s Prayer when I was little and later I came across Hail Mary in a book and I memorized it. I can memorize things fast. I know two Robert Frost poems, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, In Flanders Field, the Emily Dickens poem, “Hope is the thing with feathers” stuff like that. And once I memorize them, I always know them. Anyway Mama and I always wear a cross because we love Jesus. But I am trying to figure out why she had it with her and how it got into the back seat. I’m not sure if it is a clue but why was it there?

     I do remember Mama telling me how much she liked nuns. She thought that they were really amazing women, letting go of their former lives, their families, friends and possessions to become “brides of Christ”. She loved seeing them, which wasn’t often, walking around in their habits, giving her a glimpse into their lives. That’s what Mama said: “giving her a glimpse into their lives”. What a funny duck!

     Anyway I decided that I would concentrate on the little wrist rosary and see if I could come up with anything. I went up to my parents’ bedroom and laid down on Mama’s side of the bed and thought and prayed and even cried a little and then I must have fallen asleep because when I wake up it is dark, Red is licking my face and Dad is yelling up to me from the kitchen, asking me what I want for dinner…

     Dad and I had spaghetti for supper and for some reason I was really hungry. I guess that I had not eaten much since Mama had been gone. Eating made me feel energetic and so I told Dad that I would help him clean out his truck. Maybe we could find the letter Mama wrote and that would help us find her. I am still really scared but I feel hopeful. She is okay, she’s got to be okay!