Saturday Again

   

Saturday Again

     It has been one whole week. I have decided that I better start looking around more than just at our house or on our property. I think that when I get back to school on Monday, I should walk around a bit to see if there are any clues in town. Dad said that Joe’s body was found near the hospital. And also that Dad’s old car, the car that Joe might have been driving, was found near there too. Also I have heard of respite when people with special needs kids need some time away from their lives to rest and recuperate. Maybe Mama needed time away from me and just did not get a chance to tell me. I know I would need time away from me if I was her. People at school have told me that I am annoying. Maybe I annoyed Mama so much that she is taking a break.

     The thing about Mama is that she is actually so nice to me most of the time. If she needed a break from me she would not want to tell me. She would hate to hurt my feelings especially since so many other people say yucky things to me. She wrote a talk once to try and help the other kids in my class to understand learning differences. Here it is:

 Harley’s Learning Differences

(Hi I’m Jocelyn and I am Harley’s mother. I am here today to talk to you about learning differences and Harley and how we can work together to get along with one another. One of our school goals is to learn about social responsibility. Getting along with others and being accepting and tolerant is part of that. I am going to talk for a while and then you will be given a chance to ask questions.)

Who here knows where their brain is?

Does anyone know what the brain does?

Well, it’s like our body’s computer and it tells us to breathe and to move and to do just about everything.

Sometimes before someone is born, or if a person is ill or injured, a few wires can get rearranged in their brain and that can cause what we call a Learning Disorder or Learning Disability.

I’d like to call it a Learning Difference.

Does anyone here know someone with a learning difference? 

Well it can be quite common.

We all learn things differently.

If we go to swimming lessons for example the teacher might show us a movement by either moving our bodies or moving her body to show us what to do. 

Some people need to be told with words what to do when they are learning something new.

And that is what Harley’s learning difference is. 

If you want Harley to know something you must say it with words.

Sometimes we use our faces or bodies or even our tone of voice to express ourselves. 

Sometimes if we are mad or sad or frustrated our faces or bodies tell that to people so that others know that about us without even asking. 

But Harley does not understand what we call “non-verbal communication.” That means that Harley does not understand some things unless you put it into words---into very plain words.

Sometimes you may think that Harley talks too much or interrupts all the time. And maybe that’s true. Maybe she tries to hug you or touches you too much. Maybe she yells hello to you from across the parking lot at school.

Maybe you have thought that Harley is rude or annoying.

She does not mean to be annoying or rude.

Harley is doing what her brain tells her to do to communicate and to connect with you.

This may seem unusual or different to you. But we are all good at some things and not so good at other things.

Who here is a good swimmer?

A good bike rider?

Who is good at math or reading or playing the piano?

Because of Harley’s learning difference her school work is really hard for her and so she has Mrs. Clark help her. 

And Harley has things that she is really good at. 

Harley has a great memory and can recite long poems even though she has some difficulty with reading.

She also is able to remember the names of all the people she has met and a lot of the things they talked about last time they saw her. 

Harley finds it really easy to talk to strangers and she had a very successful time being in television commercials.

But Harley still needs help with the things that she is not good at so she needs Mrs. Clark, Mrs. Oliver and you, her classmates to help if you can.

Mrs. Jacob is here to help us to figure out some ways that we can talk to Harley if she asks us a question, repeats herself or says something that seems odd or hard to answer.

Examples:  You are mad about something and  you are standing with your arms crossed and your head down. Harley comes up to you and says: “I’m getting a new kitten.” 

You could say:” I feel mad right now and I don’t want to talk.”  If she were to repeat her statement you could say: “I feel sad because you are not listening to me.”

(Discussion)

Or: You show Harley a new book you like and she says: “If you steal something you go to jail.” You could say: “I feel frustrated because you are not looking at my book and you’re talking about something else. Can we talk about my book please?”

(Discussion)

Or: You bump into your desk and Harley laughs. You could say” I feel sad when you laugh because I hurt my elbow.” OR you could say: “I feel annoyed that you laughed because now all my pens are on the floor. Could you help me pick them up please?”

(Discussion)

It’s important that when we talk to Harley or others in situations like this that you say what you are feeling and why. This helps her and other people to try to understand what you are feeling. This is called empathy. Harley usually does not want to cause people to feel mad or sad. If she knows how her behavior affects you then she can learn new ways to handle herself as well.

 

Thank you for listening to me today and I hope this has made it easier to be in class with Harley and others who are different from you. We are all different from each other in many ways that don’t always show on the outside. It is up to us to try to include our classmates in our work and in our play. Perhaps knowing what you do now will help you to be more patient with Harley and others. We need to try to be tolerant and accepting of each other and to all be good citizens of our school. 

That was the end of Mama’s talk about me. 

      Anyway I talked to Dad. He told me that Mama was mad at him but not at me. He told me that she said that she would leave her phone at home so that she could really think and get some rest. He said that they were not going to get a divorce but that they needed a break from each other. When I asked him why Mama didn’t tell me herself he said that she had given him a card with a letter inside to give to me but that he had lost it. Dad said he was sorry about losing it and he didn't want to tell me but he had been looking for it all week. It made me so darn mad! I have been so worried about Mama and maybe he could not tell that from my face but it has been a terrible week! And also he is always losing stuff which also makes me really angry. I am going to shoot some baskets until I feel better. Or maybe take Red for a walk. I can't even breathe right now I am so mad!

     I am counting….12345678910…...Mama taught me to do that…… It helps me to slow down my breathing and calm down, 12345678910…….. And it really does help, especially if I do it slowly…...1...2...3...4...5….6….7….8….9…..10…… I am calmer now but still so mad at Dad!

     Some people have anger issues. Those people are kind of scary. My dad has been scary mad a couple of times but he was mad at my mum, not me. He also has a funny scary face and that always makes my mum laugh. It’s nice to think of her laughing. 

     Anyway my father is a really good guy. Everything he does is to help us as a family; he makes the money to pay all our bills and so Mama can be home with me. It's just during the day he is working so he doesn't have much time to chat. I guess with my mother not here I am wanting someone to talk to besides Red. It's just so frustrating; Mama isn't here and I wish I knew why.